Finding Love (Part 2)
Recently I was in a dating relationship with a Christian girl, I met on a Christian dating platform called Christian Mingle. It did not work out. We are no longer talking, but while dating her, I learn so much about God’s heart towards us and his people, in a way that I would not have learned about his heart if I didn’t date this girl. I wanted to write about it and talk about my dating experience and explore God’s heart in the 2nd part of the Finding Love Bible Study. This part will be short, maybe included along with the 1st part, and might be considered emotional. Fair warning on the emotional part.
- Use The Word “Date”. This was the very first time I asked a girl out on a date. I used to ask them out for lunch, coffee, movies, and I would get ghosted, but this time I actually asked the girl out on a date. I actually tried this out on another girl and it worked a 2nd time, so I think I learn the secret to asking a girl out, you have to use this magic word called “date”. ‘Would you be interested in going out on a date?’.
- Know Your League. So I actually learned this after I did a uber trip. Each person is within a special league. What that means is that there are only certain people that you will be attracted towards and they will be attracted towards you.
There was this one uber trip I did that this girl was totally into me and I was totally into her, but the only issue was I was doing uber and I didn’t want to put my job on the line for a girl, therefore I didn’t ask her out, but I learn about who she was as a person, how she was raised. She was a country girl, not a city girl, she was a homeschooled girl, not a public school girl, she was extremely deep in her faith too and that stuff is a huge turn-on for me, I will pursue a God-fearing woman above all things. After I met that girl, I thought about her and I realized that in the past, I have always dated and been attracted to girls that were country and homeschooled. I have never dated a public school city girl, just never been attracted to them. So I signed up at Christian Mingle and I met a country girl that was homeschooled and then I asked her out on a date. Then this dating relationship started.
- Reminded Me Of Jesus 2nd Coming. I remember after we went on the first date, she actually wanted to go on a 2nd date, I was actually very surprised. On the 1st date, I didn’t think she was interested, so I was planning to just keep looking, but she surprised me when she gave me her number and hugged me. I was surprised by a beautiful woman as she was even talking to me.
Between the time frame of the 1st date and 2nd date, I remember being so excited to see this girl a 2nd time. I just wanted to spend the whole day with her and I was so excited. It made me wonder if I a human am this excited to see this girl I just met a 2nd time, how much more excited is Jesus right now to one day return to the world and see the church a 2nd time. Just think about how excited Jesus must feel. I had to wait a few days and I couldn’t even sleep or work right that whole week. All I could think of was seeing this girl a 2nd time around. It was her birthday, so I was coming with gifts and I was so excited to bring her gifts for her special day. Imagine how excited Jesus must be to come and bring us gifts for the church’s special day. We long for the day Jesus returns, I wonder if Jesus longs for a day he returns to us. Think about this.
- Fully Known. So on the 2nd date, this girl left me with some uncertainty and doubt throughout the entire date. Within the first like 20 minutes, she told me that she wanted to be a stay-at-home mom and if she dating a guy that doesn’t like that she will break up with them. I don’t like that, but I just figured that it doesn’t matter and I can look past it. Later, we were walking in a book store and I was learning so much about her, she was telling me about all the things about her and I was engaging with her, then I picked up a book I like and I tried telling her about my interest and she quickly changed the subject and started talking about her interest again, that actually hurt. Later that night, we were eating and I learn more things about her. I was learning as much as I could about this girl because I was to fully know her. Well, I tried to tell her about my interest in the financial industry and she immediately asked for a to-go box, boxed up her food, and went straight to her car. She didn’t ask me to walk her to her car as she did on the first date, she didn’t say anything about a 3rd date. She didn’t ask for a hug one at the end of the 2nd date as she asked for one at the end of the 1st date. She left me confused and uncertain. Left me with a lot of doubt. Why did she not want to know about me? So the next day, I waited to see if she would message me “Good Morning” like she had been doing for the past week and she didn’t message me. So I decided to send her a break-up text message. I felt like she didn’t want to know me. I wanted to be Fully Known also.
- Friend Zone. After I broke up with her, she didn’t seem mad, but she asked if we could still stay friends. This just confused me more. She said she wanted to know me more, but the day before she didn’t care about knowing me more. I was so confused. I was so hurt. So I said yes to being friends and I tried to tell her by text message about who I was as a person. I was trying to help her see who I am. Then in a few days, we actually went on a 3rd date. She said yes to a 3rd date, but she keeps switching the words from “hangout” to “date” throughout the text messages and the conversations. I was truly just lost on the whole thing.
- Not Ready To Settle Down. During the 3rd date or hangout, whichever you want to call it. We got to know each other more. She told me that she wasn’t interested in getting married anytime soon because she is only 30 years old and has her whole life ahead of her. When she said that, I started thinking, why is she dating guys then if she isn’t trying to get married? The only reason any Christian should be dating is that they are ready to get married and settle down. Now at this point, I feel like I was catfished and that my time was wasted. So I turned this entire situation into a friendly conversation and started talking and communicating with her from a nice guy friend standpoint and not from a boyfriend or a guy pursuing her standpoint.
- Left Me More Confused. At the end of the 3rd date/hangout, she made a comment, “if we go another date…” I forgot what she said after that because those words stayed in my mind playing over and over. I was thinking, ‘She said she was not ready to settle down. She called this a date and hangout interchangeably, she successfully put me in the friend zone and boy-friends zone at the same time.” I told her if she needed help moving or anything I would help her out but at the end of these few weeks, I told her I can’t be her friend anymore because I was more interested in being more than friends and it would be wrong for me to be talking to a girl I was interested in while looking for another girl to pursue towards a marriage relationship.
Dating this girl these last few weeks help me see a lot of things about Jesus differently. Like I shared about how Jesus longs to see us even more than the church longs to see him. I also learn about how much pain we can cause in the heart of God when we turn to him and we expect God to fully know us, but we forget to fully know God. God wants us to fully know him completely, just I wanted this girl to fully know me. It hurt me emotionally to watch this girl not want to know me fully. If being a human I hurt like that. God has feelings too and imagines how much we hurt God when we, his church, his wife, his bride, refuse or even rejected to know him fully and pursue him just like God pursues us.